Welcome dear visitor,
On this page we’re going to talk about hands, to be more specific - about where exactly do we rest them.
Does it hold any significance in terms of body language? And more importantly - does it worth your time and effort to learn and adjust it?
I’ll answer the latter first - Obsessing over where you put your hands is counterproductive. Really, it doesn’t matter that much in terms of communication.
Another goal I have for this article
is to give some insight regarding yet another piece of the puzzle - what the
different hand positions can mean, and in which context they usually appear.
Without any further ado, let’s start with:
This one is a tricky one, because it can show comfort and authority; or on the opposite - anxiety and tension, the distinction is all in the way the hands wrapped around each other.
If one hand is held easy in the palm of the other behind the back - it's a comfortable and superior position. Just like an army instructor would walk when he's observing his troops, He's exposing the front because he feel secure and dominant and he uses his body to send that message to his troops.
But suppose his authority is challenged, this projection of confidence may alter to become tight and restrained. He will clutch one hand tightly around the other, as if he holds himself from lashing out.
"Get a grip on yourself" is the key phrase here.
The higher the grip over the other hand (grasping the wrist, the elbow or even the arm) – the higher the amount of emotional pressure. If you push this person's buttons too hard he'll burst or change his posture to a defensive position - like folding his arms.
Hiding the hands behind the back can also be interpreted as deceitful and often awake suspicion. Just like a child who hides his hands if he's caught taking something he's not really supposed to. Adults who lie or feel embarrassed also tend to hide their hands in their pockets or keep them busy by playing with objects
This is the most "basic" and natural position you can picture: the hands rest to the sides of the body with ease.
It might look somewhat "boring" but when combined with the chest held up, shoulders rest in straight line and the head kept in natural position - it’s sends a confident and powerful message - simply because it lacks any negative and nervous signals.
This posture appeals to us because we like to see things symmetrical. It's pure and simple for "I feel good and secure in my position".
It's quite ironic to call it the natural posture because you rarely see anyone stands this way. We tend to slouch or to lean on stuff, we seldom find peace by simply resting our hands without doing or holding something.
In short - we rarely possess real comfort and relaxation when in public or during work. Our mind works all the time, and the body projects such activity outside.
If you try to stand in such composed posture in a middle of a busy street, you may find yourself feeling very awkward - You'll instantly become very self-conscious to your body and your hands position. Instinctively you'll want to grab something or to fold your arms.
Instead try to relax and let the hands fall to the sides of your body with the palms turned towards you. You can imagine holding imaginary bags in your hands to help you keep them down. I'm not saying it's going to be easy getting used to it, but with some practice you can become less conscious about it and more relaxed in turn.
So.. in terms of interpreting body language, what can we tell if we observe such a “plain” posture?
Not much really, except the fact that they feel quite OK about themselves at the moment.
With this note, let's move to next part: